


Ill Advice

by Maeglin_Yedi



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Anal Sex, First Time, Humor, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Romantic Comedy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-17
Updated: 2013-10-17
Packaged: 2017-12-29 17:06:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,257
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1007913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maeglin_Yedi/pseuds/Maeglin_Yedi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Remus is acting oddly, and may even be keeping secrets. Harry is determined to help him out any way he can. </p>
<p>Not compliant with HBP or DH (written and first published in 2005)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Ill Advice

**Author's Note:**

> Pairing: Harry Potter/Remus Lupin, others implied  
> Rating: NC-17  
> Warnings/category: first-time, humor, romance  
> Disclaimer: Not mine. All these boys belong to J.K. Rowling
> 
> Summary: Remus is acting oddly, and may even be keeping secrets. Harry is determined to help him out any way he can. 
> 
> A/N: written as a gift for Xntrick
> 
> Big thanks to Gina for the beta!
> 
> Word count: 8270  
> First published: February, 2005

"I suppose you'll be wanting to see Ron soon, now that you two are in a relationship."

Slowly, Harry lowered his cup of tea and stared at Remus, feeling the blood drain from his cheeks. "What?"

Remus nibbled a biscuit. "It's all right. Dumbledore told me you and Ron were caught in the Astronomy Tower together. In a compromising position."

"Yeah, but we're not," Harry had to clear his throat, "in a relationship. We just had sex."

"Ah," said Remus, dipping a second biscuit in his cup of tea. 

Harry stared at him for a moment. He'd only set foot in Grimmauld Place twenty minutes ago, after having spent two weeks at the Dursleys', and already people knew more about him than he wanted them to. 

"I am going to the Burrow for a week this Thursday. But not because Ron and I are...you know. We're just best mates," Harry finally managed to say. 

"I see." Remus nodded, giving Harry a peculiar look. "That's all right, too, of course. I just assumed that since you were having sex with him, there might be more between you two."

"No," Harry said. While Remus seemed ready to drop the subject, Harry felt compelled to explain himself. He didn't want Remus, or anyone else for that matter, to get the wrong idea. "Ron wanted to ask Lavender out, but he'd never...you know...shagged, so I helped him out. Because he wanted to have some sort of experience, so he wouldn't make a complete fool of himself if she put out for him."

"That makes perfect sense," Remus said, smiling. "Though, didn't it worry you that Ron is, in fact, a young man?"

Harry shrugged and tapped a finger against the tabletop. "Not really."

They kept silent for a moment, and Harry stared at Remus and wondered why he looked like he'd had something bad for lunch. Remus had been trying hard to get closer to Harry ever since last year – and god, had it already been a year since Sirius fell through the veil?

Christmas had been a pleasant event, despite the loss Harry still felt, and Remus had kept in touch with him through letters for the rest of the school year. Though Remus would never be able to take Sirius' place, Harry had to admit Remus had become a friend. 

"I'm not sure it's my place to ask," Remus finally said, folding his hands on the table, "but do you prefer men to women, perhaps?"

Harry shrugged again, and thought he felt comfortable enough around Remus to discuss this subject. "Yeah, I think I do."

"That's all right," Remus said, again with that peculiar look in his eyes. "Does Ron feel the same?"

"No, don't think so," Harry replied, leaning back in his chair and releasing a deep breath. "He likes the girls, mostly."

Remus leaned back as well and smiled, and it was so distant Harry knew he was remembering something that made him happy. 

"Sirius was like that as well."

"Sirius was queer?" Harry asked, shocked. 

"No, no, not at all," Remus said with a soft chuckle. "Which was the problem when he asked to have sex with me in our fifth year."

Harry's mouth fell open and he could only stare at Remus, whose smile was slowly turning into a grin. 

"Sirius had the same worries Ron does, and he thought it would be a marvelous idea to shag me before going out with a few girls. But I didn't quite agree."

"Because you're not queer?" Harry guessed. 

"No," Remus said, shaking his head. "Because he wasn't."

Harry needed a minute to process what Remus was saying, and just when he'd managed to close his mouth, it dropped open again when he finally got it. 

"You," he gasped. "You're queer."

Remus gave a slow nod. "I'm more interested in men than in women, so I suppose that makes me a homosexual."

Frowning, Harry glanced down for a moment. "Wait. But if you're queer, then why didn't you want to...you know...with Sirius?"

Remus' expression, which had been open and amused, darkened until it was pained and distant. "It's no use pondering our past choices when we can't change them anymore."

"Huh?"

"What would you like for supper?" Remus got up, offered Harry a smile which seemed forced, and turned towards the stove. 

"Anything's fine," Harry said, and understood that Remus wanted to drop the subject. And thus Harry dropped it as well, thinking he'd try to bring it up again when Remus was in a better mood.

*~*~*~*~*

That night, as Harry lay in bed and shoved his pyjama bottoms down for his daily wank, he couldn't help wondering why Remus hadn't wanted to shag Sirius.

They had been best mates, hadn't they? Just like Ron and him, and that was the reason Harry had no problem doing those things with Ron. He trusted Ron and he liked Ron, and while he didn't have any of _those_ feelings for Ron, it had been fun to give sex a try with his best friend. 

Harry glanced at his bedside table, at the picture of Sirius he kept there. Sirius, just after he'd left Hogwarts, leaning against his motorbike, looking happy and free – just like he'd wanted to be remembered, Remus had said when he'd given Harry the picture. 

Sirius had been a handsome enough bloke. If he'd been Harry's best mate in school, Harry thought he wouldn't have had any problems shagging him, queer or not. 

Releasing a sigh, Harry tried to clear his mind of those questions and concentrated on stroking his cock. And when he came a few moments later, he was thinking about a young Sirius and Remus having sex.

*~*~*~*~*

They sat in the shadow of Mr Weasley's tool shed, but despite the shade it was still too hot to move so much as a finger. Even the bees, buzzing around a flower bed to their right, seemed lazy in the July heat.

Ron was chewing on a blade of grass, and Harry dabbed at his sweaty forehead and throat with his T-shirt, which he'd taken off earlier. 

"Remus was acting oddly," he said. 

"He was?" Ron asked, the blade of grass moving from one corner of his mouth to the other. 

"Yeah. He heard about us, and then he said Sirius had wanted to shag him as well when they were younger, but Sirius wasn't queer and he was, so he hadn't. I've tried to bring the subject up again, but he's avoided it ever since."

"Hm," Ron said, leaning his head back, the blade of grass pointing up to the clear-blue sky. "We had sex. But I'm not queer. And neither are you."

"Well," Harry said, doubtfully. He decided not to correct Ron in his assumption. "But isn't that odd? That he's queer and he still wouldn't shag Sirius?"

"Yeah, I suppose it's odd," Ron said after a moment of silence. "Perhaps...I dunno...perhaps he doesn't like sex?"

Harry frowned. He couldn't for the life of him imagine someone not liking sex. "You think?"

"It'd make sense. Why else wouldn't he want to have sex with Sirius?"

Ron had a point, Harry thought, and he wiped at his forehead again as he thought about it. 

"Perhaps you should try to find out what he likes best about sex. If he won't tell you, you've got your answer," Ron said, turning to look at Harry. 

"Yeah. Good idea."

"You want to shag?" Ron asked, the blade of grass rising hopefully in his mouth. 

"Nah," Harry replied. "Too hot to shag."

"Yeah," Ron agreed, though he didn't sound convinced. 

"How about a wank?" Harry offered.

"Wank sounds good," Ron said, and reached for his zipper.

*~*~*~*~*

"I like to suck cock," Harry announced as he was doing his homework in the library.

Remus, who sat opposite him, lowered his newspaper and stared at Harry for a moment. 

"Have you been drinking?"

Glancing at his glass of pumpkin juice, Harry shook his head. "I just like to suck cock. I really like it. What do you like best about sex?"

Remus seemed taken aback for a moment, his eyes wide as he gave Harry a curious look. But then he folded his newspaper and leaned forward in his chair, offering Harry a small smile. 

"I like kissing," Remus said. 

"Kissing?" Harry echoed, as if Remus had just said a nasty word. 

"Yes," Remus said with an encouraging nod. 

"I think kissing is rather boring," Harry mused. "And wet. And sloppy. And it doesn't involve my cock at all."

Laughing, Remus shook his head. "Perhaps you haven't kissed the right person yet." Still chuckling, Remus got up and moved towards the door. 

"Where are you going?" Harry asked, disappointed the conversation seemed to be over already. 

"After this, I do need a stiff drink," Remus replied with a grin, and left Harry alone in the library.

*~*~*~*~*

_Dear Hermione,_

_How is Italy? I hope your parents are okay. Give them my regards._

_The reason I'm writing you is I have a few questions you might be able to help me with, since you always seem to know about relationships and such. Hypothetical questions, mind. Let's say I know a person who had the chance to have sex with someone that person cared about, but they didn't want to. That person does like kissing, by the way, so it's not as if they're not interested in sex._

_Thanks,_

_Harry_

* * * 

Dear Harry,

Italy is just wonderful! We've been to Naples and Rome, and we visited the tiny wizarding school in Florence, even though it was closed for the holidays, but they have such a brilliant library there. We're in Venice now, and the canals are even lovelier than I imagined. And my parents are fine, thank you. They send their regards. 

As for your question: perhaps this person isn't feeling ready for sex yet, Harry. Some people feel they should wait until they meet the right person. And others, even though they have met the right person already, decide to wait a while before having sex. It can be intimidating, the whole idea of sex, especially if they're still a virgin. 

Are you seeing someone, Harry? Is it Ginny? Does Ron know about this? I know you just spent time at the Burrow. Have you been trying to pressure Ginny into having sex with you?

Love, 

Hermione

* * * 

Dear Hermione,

No, I'm not seeing Ginny and I've not pressured her into anything, thanks ever so much. I'm not seeing anyone. As I said, those questions were hypothetical _._

_But thanks for your letter. Your answers helped a lot._

_Harry_

*~*~*~*~*

Harry stared at Remus over the chessboard. Remus was glancing down, pondering his next move, so Harry had a moment to give Remus a good look before it became suspicious.

While at first he hadn't believed Hermione's suggestions – Remus was old, and as far as Harry knew, old people weren't virgins – after having tried to talk about sex with Remus the whole week, Harry was forced to conclude it might be possible Remus had never had sex before. 

He certainly didn't seem to know a great deal about it. 

"Ron was the first person I've ever shagged," Harry said as casually as he could. Remus dropped his pawn. "You know, I plan to have sex with other people, too, of course, but Ron was the first. Who was your first shag?"

Inhaling a deep, patient breath, Remus retrieved his pawn from the floor and gave Harry a dark stare. 

"I think I'm from a generation that doesn't speak that freely about their past encounters," Remus said slowly. "After all, a gentleman never tells."

"Ah," Harry said with a careless shrug. 

"And why do you insist on talking about sex the whole day, Harry? There are other things that matter in this world."

"I'm sixteen," Harry said, trying to make it sound apologetic.

"That is still not an excuse to let your rampant hormones control your life," Remus said briskly. "Perhaps it's time you grew up."

Harry swallowed. "But I was just saying..."

"Has it ever occurred to you that perhaps not everyone is as comfortable as you about discussing sex in such a careless manner?" Remus got up, straightened his robes, and marched out of the room. 

"Er...no," Harry said to the door banging shut. Harry knew defeat when it practically hit him in the face, and he realized he needed more help to solve this case. Possibly even adult help.

*~*~*~*~*

"Wotcher, Harry!"

"Hullo, Tonks," Harry said with a smile as he entered the kitchen. 

"Ready for your first defense lesson?" Tonks beamed at him, and promptly tipped over her glass of milk. "Oh, bugger."

Harry chuckled, watching Tonks flick her wand to clean up the mess. And then he had an idea. Tonks was an adult, after all, and women, in Harry's experience, were a lot more adept about matters like the one Harry was struggling with. 

"Can I have a word with you?" Harry asked, and scuffed his shoe against the floor. "In private?"

Tonks' face lit up, as if she'd been waiting her whole life for someone to ask her for a word in private. "Of course!"

"Er...okay. This way, then." Harry, vaguely wondering if this had been a good idea, led Tonks up the stairs to his bedroom. Tonks flopped down on his bed while Harry closed the door to ensure their privacy. 

"What did you want to talk about?" Tonks asked, looking at him for a moment before her attention was drawn to the picture of Sirius on Harry's nightstand. Harry made a vague gesture to stop Tonks from picking it up, but he was too late. Tonks turned the picture frame around in her hands, and dropped it. 

Harry inhaled a sharp breath, but the frame bounced on his bed and landed against Tonks' knee. 

"It's still in one piece!" Tonks shifted, went to pick up the frame, and managed to sit on it. Harry heard a muffled crack, and released a deep sigh. 

"No worries. I can fix it," Tonks said, her cheeks flushing as she reached for her wand.

Harry pulled up his desk chair and sat down, glancing around to make sure there wasn't anything else nearby Tonks could get her lethal hands on. "So, about this talk," he started. "It's personal, sort of. I hope you don't mind."

"Not at all," Tonks said, leaning forward with an encouraging smile. 

"It's about sex," Harry whispered, giving Tonks a calculated look. 

"Oh. You have questions about sex? Let's hear them."

"All right. What does it mean when a person says they don't want to talk about sex?"

Tonks frowned. "You mean someone you'd like to have sex with?" she asked slowly. 

"Well," Harry sighed. "Perhaps. But the point is, whenever I bring it up, this person gets rather cranky."

"Ah," Tonks said, and then her frown deepened. "I think I know what the problem could be."

"Yeah?"

"I see it with my parents all the time," Tonks continued. "Of course, I don't have this problem myself, but my mum can get very cranky from time to time when my dad mentions sex."

Harry swallowed. He wasn't sure he wanted to hear about Mr and Mrs Tonks' sex life.

"Women can be quite sensitive when it comes to their looks. If a bloke even implies that a woman doesn't look good enough, they'll refuse sex for the rest of the month. Won't even talk about it. My dad once made the mistake of mentioning that my mum's new dress made her look chubby, and she hexed his mouth shut. It took him a trip to St Mungo's and a lot of flowers and sweets to make it up."

"Okay," Harry said, slightly confused. Remus wasn't a woman, but perhaps this was more of a general adult thing than a female thing. "So what should I do to make this person want to talk about sex?"

"Compliment them," Tonks said with a wide smile. "You've got to let them know you think they're everything you want in a person."

"I can do that," Harry said, nodding. 

"It'll work like a charm, I promise you," Tonks said, getting up from the bed. "Ready for your lessons now?"

"Sure," Harry said, and followed Tonks out of the room, thinking he already knew exactly what to say to Remus that evening.

*~*~*~*~*

"I think you're a very handsome man," Harry said in between cutting the carrots and washing the lettuce.

Remus froze beside him, his knife dropping to the counter. Harry glanced at him and wondered if it had been the right thing to say. 

And then Remus cupped his chin, leaned his face closer, and for a moment Harry was sure Remus was going to kiss him. And worse yet, Harry thought he really wouldn't mind if Remus kissed him. 

But Remus' lips never touched his. Instead, Remus sniffed Harry's breath. 

"Are you drunk? Have you been stealing my firewhisky?" 

"No," Harry said in a small voice, staring into Remus' narrowed eyes. 

"Hm," Remus said, releasing Harry and picking his knife up again. "Then I suspect Moody's been refilling his hip flask every time he stops by."

The only sound that followed was the knife scraping across the wooden board as Remus sliced the cuts of beef. Harry kept staring at him, wondering if Remus had even heard what he'd said. And as Harry took in Remus' brown eyes, the little crease between his eyebrows that always appeared when he was concentrating, and the pursed lips – very nicely shaped lips – Harry realized he did think Remus was a very handsome man. 

"I mean it," he said, lowering his gaze and pretending to concern himself with the carrots. 

"Don't be ridiculous," Remus muttered. 

"No, really. You have very nice eyes and –"

"Harry, stop spouting this nonsense," Remus said, and Harry snapped his mouth shut, unable to think what he'd done wrong now. He wasn't getting any closer to solving this case – whatever the case was, because he'd lost track of it a few days ago – and he was running out of resources. 

Harry sighed and dropped the carrots in the pan. Perhaps it was time to bring in the big guns.

*~*~*~*~*

"Well done, Harry." Kingsley wiped at his sweaty forehead with a towel, and then threw it at Harry.

"Thanks," Harry said with a proud grin. He really liked hearing he was doing well in dueling from a real Auror. Besides Tonks, Kingsley had also been recruited to give Harry extra defense lessons, which was why Harry had just spent an hour dodging the hexes Kingsley had thrown at him. He slid off his glasses and wiped the perspiration off his face. 

"Sir, I was wondering – "

"Make me feel old, why don't you," Kingsley said with a chuckle. "I have a name. You can use it."

"All right," Harry said, intimidated to call a person with Kingsley's physique anything but 'sir.' "Kingsley, I was wondering if I could have a chat with you."

Kingsley regarded him for a moment, his brown eyes narrowing. "Is this about sex?"

"God," Harry gasped, his eyes wide. "How did you know?"

"I've been your age and I know that look," Kingsley said, grinning. 

Harry stopped fidgeting with the towel and shuffling his shoes over the floor. "Yeah, it might be about...that."

"It's normal to get erections at any given time, to wake up with sticky boxers, and to want to wank 24 hours a day. Do you need to know more?"

Rolling his eyes, Harry took a seat in one of the drawing room's leather chairs. "I already knew that," he muttered. 

"Ah. I'll need more information, then," Kingsley said, sitting down in a chair opposite Harry. 

"It's just that I've been trying to talk to this person about sex, and they simply refuse it," Harry said softly, giving Kingsley a curious look. 

"Wait," Kingsley said, frowning. "You want to actually talk to someone about sex? Because when I was your age, I didn't want to talk about it. I wanted to do it. Come to think of it, that hasn't really changed over the years."

Harry sighed. "Yeah, well, I'm not quite sure if I want to have sex with this person. But if I could talk to him about it, I might figure it out."

"Him," Kingsley repeated in his deep voice. 

Feeling his cheeks flush, Harry stared at Kingsley with wide eyes. He hadn't meant to give that away. 

"Hey, mate, whatever tickles your broomstick." Kingsley made a vague gesture, as if to wave Harry's worries away.

"It's a him," Harry sighed. 

"Now, I know a thing or two about charming the birds, but I'm not sure if I can help you with charming a bloke."

"Bloody hell," Harry said, his brow creasing in annoyance. "I'm running out of people to ask for advice."

"Do I know him?" Kingsley asked after a moment of silence. "Because if I do, I might be able to help you out a bit. It's my job as an Auror to observe people and judge their character, after all."

Harry stared at Kingsley, wondering if he could trust him not to freak out or spill his secret to others. Kingsley didn't seem the type to panic or to gossip, so after a minute Harry decided he probably could tell Kingsley. 

"It's Remus," he whispered. 

"Remus? As in Remus Lupin?" Kingsley asked, his eyes widening. 

"Yeah," Harry said miserably. He braced himself for the lecture that would surely follow, on how inappropriate it was for a boy like him to think about a man like Remus. 

"I went to school with Remus," Kingsley said, and Harry looked up at him in surprise. "He was always a quiet one. Never interacted much with people besides his closest friends."

"I think he's still a virgin," Harry confessed, worrying his lip. 

Kingsley's mouth dropped open. 

"Seriously," Harry added. 

"Oh, boy," Kingsley sighed. "You've got your work cut out for you, mate."

"Tell me about it."

Kingsley chuckled. "I don't think it's a lost cause, though. You have to approach this like you would any problem. Get to know the facts, so you can fill in the blanks. Is he queer?"

"Yep," Harry said. "He told me."

"Is he seeing anyone at this moment?"

"Don't think so. He's never mentioned anyone, and he spends most of his time here."

"He has a problem talking about sex?"

"You can say that again."

"Perhaps it's time you stopped talking, and started acting," Kingsley said, grinning. 

Harry frowned. "How do you mean?"

"Because, obviously, talking isn't getting you anywhere."

"Good point."

"Let's see what else we know about Remus," Kingsley said, leaning forward in his chair. "He's smart. He's sensitive. And he's got a condition that makes it hard for him to trust strangers."

Harry nodded.

"I think he just needs to know you care," Kingsley said with a final note to his voice. 

"Huh?"

"Birds need to hear it all the time. I think it goes for Remus, too. He needs to know he matters to you. You've got to charm him a bit. Make sure he knows you think he's special. Be a good listener. He needs to warm up to you before he'll ever consider sex."

"And if I do that, you think he'll want to talk about sex?" Harry asked, confused. 

"I think you need to drop your obsession with talking about sex, Harry," Kingsley said with a teasing smile. 

Harry sighed. "All right. I'll just try to do as you said. Thanks."

"No problem." Kingsley got up. "I've got to get back to the Ministry. See you next week. And good luck."

Harry got to his feet as well. "Kingsley," he said, arching a worried eyebrow. "You don't think it's odd I might be interested in someone like Remus?"

"I'm an Auror, Harry. I've seen weirder things in my days." Kingsley put his hand on Harry's shoulder. "As long as you don't go joining the Death Eaters, I'm not interfering with anything you do."

Harry smiled and watched Kingsley leave, trying to come up with a plan for that evening. This had better work, he thought absently, because he was running out of options.

*~*~*~*~*

"I've made you a cup of tea," Harry said, pushing the drawing room door open with his elbow as he carried the cup inside the room.

"Thank you," Remus said, looking up from his book. "That's very kind."

Harry sat the cup down on a side table, and sank down on the couch beside Remus. He watched Remus sip his tea and tried to think of something to say that would tell Remus he cared. 

"I'm really glad you're my friend," he said, staring at Remus to measure his response. 

Remus looked at him and smiled. "I'm glad you're my friend, too."

So far, so good. Harry shifted a bit closer to Remus. "Especially after what happened last year."

Remus nodded. 

"If you ever want to talk about it, you know where to find me," Harry said hopefully. 

Remus frowned. 

"I'm a good listener," Harry tried, fearing he was close to messing things up again. 

"That's good to know," Remus said, and picked up his book again. 

Harry sucked his bottom lip between his teeth. This wasn't going at all as he thought it would. Remus was ignoring him. What had Kingsley said again?

"I just want you to know I care," Harry said in one last attempt to salvage the situation. 

Remus slowly lowered his book and stared at Harry. "What are you trying to do?"

"Er..."

"You've been acting oddly ever since you arrived here. Does this have to do with Sirius' death? Do you want to talk about it?"

"No," Harry said. "It's got nothing to do with that."

"Then what is going on?" Remus' voice darkened, and Harry felt his heart hammering in his chest. Remus didn't seem to be warming up to him at all. 

And then he remembered what Kingsley had said. Don't talk. Act. 

Inhaling a deep breath, Harry leaned closer and pressed his lips to Remus' in a desperate kiss. 

Remus stiffened, and for a moment Harry thought Remus would kiss him back, but then Remus grabbed his shoulder and pushed him away. 

"What on earth is the meaning of this, Harry?"

"You said you liked kissing!" Harry said, his voice raised.

"That doesn't mean I want you to go around kissing me!" Remus countered in an equally loud voice. It made Harry flinch. 

"Then what do you want me to do?" Harry gasped for breath, at a complete loss as to what had gone wrong this time. "I like you. A lot. And I think you're handsome. And I do care."

"You can't be serious," Remus said in a tone of disbelief. 

"I am," Harry said, his voice softer now. "I'm not sure what I want, but I do know whatever it is, it involves you."

"Are you saying that," Remus swallowed and paused for a moment, "you want me?"

Harry blinked. While he'd never asked himself that question, now that Remus asked him Harry had to conclude that yes, he wanted Remus. He nodded. 

"Have you gone completely insane?" Remus shot up from the couch, staring down at Harry. 

"No," Harry said, squeezing his hands into fists to stop them from trembling. 

"Have you no eyes?"

"Er..." 

"How could you possibly ever want someone like me?" Remus said, his expression morphing from disbelief to anger. 

"Someone like you?" Harry asked in a small voice. 

"Yes, Harry. Someone like me. Someone with my condition." 

"I...er..."

"Let me guess," Remus said bitterly. "You hadn't thought of it."

"I hadn't, no," Harry said with a frown. "But I don't see – "

"Then perhaps it's time you did think about it, before jumping my bones." Remus turned on his heel and stomped out of the room. Harry stared after him, his mouth hanging open. 

So it wasn't about sex at all. It was about Remus being a werewolf. Harry sighed and had to admit that he didn't know a great deal about werewolves. Not enough to know why Remus thought that was a problem for them, anyway.

*~*~*~*~*

Harry knew it would be hard to sneak up on a person who sported a magical eye that could see through walls and invisibility cloaks. Not to mention the back of a head. But since Harry had a good idea where Mad Eye Moody would go after his brief meeting with Remus in the kitchen, it turned out to be easier than he'd thought it would be to follow Moody to the drawing room without being seen.

As Moody pulled out his hip flask and reached for Remus' bottle of firewhisky in the dresser, Harry threw the door open and stomped inside the room. 

"Potter," Moody said, fixing his magical eye on Harry. "What do you want?"

"That's Remus' firewhisky," Harry said, his voice neutral. 

Moody stared down at the bottle in his hand, and only now seemed to realize Harry'd caught him in an improper act. 

"But I won't tell anyone about this, if you give me some advice." Harry crossed his arms and tilted his head in a silent dare. 

"Blackmail is against the law," Moody grumbled. 

"So is stealing," Harry countered, his lips twitching up in an amused smile. 

"So it is," Moody said, and nodded. He unscrewed first his hip flask and then the bottle of whisky. "What's this advice you need?" he asked, pouring the amber liquid from the bottle into his flask. 

"It's about werewolves," Harry said, closing the drawing room door. "I need to know if there's something about werewolves that makes it hard for them to...bond with someone else."

Moody replaced the bottle of whisky in the dresser and thumped across the room to the couch. "Sit down," he said, taking a seat himself. He waited until Harry was settled in a chair opposite him, and then continued, "It's all about scars, boy."

"Huh?"

"Scars," Moody said, and rapped his knuckles against his wooden leg. "Some carry theirs on the outside, while others keep them on the inside. Most of us have them. Werewolves have big ones."

"Big scars?" Harry said dubiously, not sure what Moody was getting at. 

"Yeah, big scars. It makes it hard to be close to other people."

Harry stared at Moody and wondered if the man was serious. He had no idea what Moody was trying to say. 

"You have one," Moody said, gesturing at Harry's head. "A small one, but you're still young. I reckon you'll have gathered a few bigger ones by the time you're my age."

Rubbing across the mark on his forehead, Harry thought he understood what Moody was saying. "Scars remind us of what we are, right?"

"Wrong," Moody said. "They remind others of what we are." He grinned, his grizzled face creasing even further. "You think about that."

Harry watched how Moody got up and limped out of the room, his wooden leg clunking on the floor. 

Was that Remus' problem? Harry wasn't sure, because as far as he knew Remus didn't have any scars. And then he realized he'd never seen Remus undressed. As a matter of fact, Remus seemed to go out of his way to make sure Harry never saw him without any clothes on. 

Perhaps Moody did have a point. Now all Harry needed was a way to talk to Remus about it without it once again resulting in Remus fleeing the room.

*~*~*~*~*

Harry waited until late that evening, when Remus announced he was going to bed. A few moments after Remus left the kitchen, Harry inhaled a deep breath and walked up the stairs, intent on having another chat with Remus.

He found Remus in the bathroom, brushing his teeth. Moving as casually as he could, Harry entered the bathroom and stood beside Remus at the sink. He looked at himself in the mirror for a minute and then glanced at Remus' reflection. 

"People always stare at it," he said, his voice almost a whisper. 

Remus' eyes shot up and met his gaze in the mirror. 

"My scar, I mean. People always stare at it and think they know me, just because I have that stupid scar."

Remus' hand stilled, his toothbrush hanging from his mouth. 

"I can't hide it." Harry ruffled his hair, trying to cover the red mark on his forehead. "I'm not sure if that makes it easier or not."

Swallowing, Remus lowered his toothbrush and gave Harry a peculiar look. 

"Anyway, it was nice talking to you," Harry said, shrugging. "Good night." And with that, he left the bathroom and made his way to his bedroom.

*~*~*~*~*

Just when Harry'd crawled under his sheets and was about the turn off the light, a knock sounded on his door.

"Yeah?"

"It's me," Remus said, and pushed the door open. He was only wearing a dressing gown, and Harry thought he'd never seen Remus with so little clothing on before. 

Harry sat up in his bed and gave Remus an expectant stare. Closing the door behind him and pulling the dressing gown tightly around his thin frame, Remus gave Harry a smile. 

"About what you said," Remus said, walking towards the bed, his bare feet not making a sound. 

"About my scar?" Harry guessed before Remus could finish his sentence. 

"Yes." Remus sat down on the foot of Harry's bed. "I think it's easier if you can't hide it. Perhaps it's too tempting to not give people a glimpse of who you really are if you can."

Harry stared at Remus, his mouth going dry. "Do you have a scar?" he asked, his voice a thick rasp. 

"Yes," Remus said. 

"And you hide it?"

"Yes."

"Can I see it?"

Remus closed his eyes, and for a moment Harry thought he was going to refuse. But then Remus' hands moved to the cord of his gown and pulled it open, the fabric falling to the side and revealing Remus' pale chest. Harry sucked his bottom lip into his mouth when he saw the thick, red welt. 

The scar started above Remus' left nipple and went down all the way to below his navel, where it branched out into dozens of thin, angry lines that curled around each other, patched together like a morbid jigsaw puzzle. 

Remus' eyes were still closed, and Harry leaned forward, kicking the sheets aside as he reached out his hand. He pushed the remaining of the fabric out of the way and had to inhale an unsteady breath when he noticed that Remus was naked underneath. The thin scars went down all the way to his flaccid penis, hovering above the organ like a threatening claw. 

His breath catching in his throat, Harry traced his fingers over the marred patch of flesh. Remus snapped his eyes open, his skin shivering under Harry's soft touch. 

"Don't."

Harry pulled his hand back, nodding. "So you have a scar," he said, because he didn't know what else to say. 

Remus said nothing and didn't meet Harry's gaze. 

"I've got a big scar as well," Harry said, offering his knee to Remus. "Not as impressive as yours, but it's quite deep. I got it when I fell out of a tree when I was eight. Well, actually, Dudley pulled me out of the tree. Here, look." He pointed at the red line on his knee, about three inches long. 

Chuckling, Remus shook his head and moved on the bed. Harry was afraid he was going to leave, but much to his surprise Remus hoisted his left leg onto the mattress.

"A niffler bit me there in my third year at Hogwarts." Remus pointed at a faint pink mark on his ankle. 

Harry snorted. "Here, I slipped in the shower once and cut my shoulder on the tap." He turned so Remus could see the whitish line on his left shoulder. 

"That's nothing," Remus said, and shrugged half of his dressing gown off, offering Harry a look at a thick scar his right arm. "I burned myself on the stove when I was ten. Right there." 

"I got this when Umbridge had me do lines in detention last year," Harry whispered, holding out his hand. The words had faded but faint, red marks remained. 

Remus narrowed his eyes and ran his thumb over the back of Harry's hand. It made Harry shiver and he released a ragged breath. 

"I got this when I was almost killed by a werewolf when I was six," Remus said, waving at his own chest. 

"I got this when Voldemort killed my parents and tried to kill me," Harry said, gesturing at his forehead. 

"I'm a werewolf."

"I'm Harry Potter. That's far worse. I win." Harry tried to give Remus an honest smile, but he felt the corners of his mouth quiver. 

Remus looked down and sighed. "Harry, I'm not sure – "

"So this is why you didn't want to have sex with Sirius?" Harry asked, not wanting to give Remus the opportunity to reject him again. 

"Yes," Remus said. "It's not something I want someone to see who only wants to have casual sex with me, no matter if he's my best friend or not."

"But you're showing it to me," Harry mused, staring at the thick scar on Remus' body. 

Remus seemed surprised by that observation. "Yes, I suppose I am."

"Can I touch it?"

"Harry, you really shouldn't – "

"I want to. I really want to." 

"All right," Remus said after a moment of silence. He leaned back against the footboard, and Harry shifted closer to him, reaching his hand out. He traced the tips of his fingers down the scar, noticing how hot Remus' skin was. 

"Can I kiss you?" he asked, thinking that after the disaster the previous time he'd tried, he'd better get Remus' permission first. 

Remus stared at him with hooded eyes, his body still under Harry's inquisitive touches. "I thought you didn't like kissing."

Chuckling, Harry leaned his face closer to Remus'. "Yeah, but you said all I had to do was kiss the right person."

"You think I'm the right person?"

"There's only one way to find out." Harry licked his lips, his hand traveling so far down he felt the hairs around Remus' cock tickle his fingers. Remus jerked, and Harry wanted to pull back when suddenly Remus put his hand on Harry's shoulder and drew him closer. 

And then their lips were touching, and Harry opened his mouth and met Remus' tongue with his own. He felt clumsy, inadequate, and he was glad when Remus cupped the back of his head and held it still so he could explore Harry's mouth. Harry let him, trying to meet his pace, their lips and tongues moving in soft, gentle strokes. 

Finally, Remus pulled back and took a deep breath. "And?"

"That was good," Harry breathed. "I liked that. A lot."

"I'm glad." Remus glanced down. "I'm not sure if we should do this, though."

"Why not?"

"You're still so young," Remus whispered. 

"I'll be seventeen next week," Harry said with a shrug. "And I don't care that you're old."

Remus snorted with laughter, and Harry felt his cheeks flush.  
H

"We don't have to do anything you don't want to," Harry tried, because he didn't want Remus to leave. 

"What do you want to do?" Remus asked, trailing his hand through Harry's hair. 

"Maybe kiss more?"

Smiling, Remus pulled Harry closer. "We can do that," he said, before brushing his lips across Harry's.

*~*~*~*~*

Harry thought this had to be his best birthday yet.

"Oh God, Harry," Remus moaned, curling his hand in Harry's hair. 

Harry hummed around the head of Remus' cock, licking at the slit as he moved his fist around the hard shaft. 

"Yes, that's it, that's it," Remus breathed, his hips bucking up. 

Shifting on the mattress to get a better angle, Harry sucked Remus' cock down as far as he could, feeling it press against the back of his throat. He hollowed his cheeks, licking the underside of Remus' prick with his tongue over and over again. 

"Almost, God, almost."

Harry stared at Remus' face, creased in rapture, perspiration shining on his forehead. He cupped Remus' sac while trailing his other hand over Remus' scar. 

"Yes!"

And Harry's mouth was flooded with Remus' release, bitter and sweet, and Harry swallowed every last drop, sucking as hard as he could while Remus trembled beneath him. 

"God, Harry," Remus sighed. He tilted his head off the pillow and gave Harry a lazy smile. 

"You liked that?" Harry asked, nuzzling the damp hair around Remus' softening cock. 

"Yes, quite. But I do feel that it should be me doing you this favor. It's your birthday."

Harry grinned and crawled up Remus' body. "I told you I like to suck cock. This is the best birthday present I've ever had."

Chuckling, Remus wrapped his arms around Harry and held him close. "Happy birthday to you."

"Yeah," Harry agreed. "Happy birthday to me."

*~*~*~*~*

"Remus?"

"Hm?" Remus rolled onto his side so he could look at Harry. 

"Would you let me fuck you?" Harry asked. He'd been contemplating the question for two weeks now, ever since that night they'd compared scars. 

"Do you want to?" 

"Well, yeah," Harry said, frowning. "Don't you?"

Remus stared at Harry, his face an unreadable mask. 

"I already know you're still a virgin," Harry said in an attempt to reassure Remus. "I'll be gentle and all."

"I beg your pardon?" Remus shot up, looking down at Harry with a surprised quirk of his eyebrow.

Harry shrugged and slowly pushed himself up to sit beside Remus. "It's rather obvious."

"It is?"

"Yeah, I figured it out after Hermione gave me advice."

"You asked Hermione for advice?" Remus looked dumbfounded. 

"Yeah, Hermione and a few others."

Remus narrowed his eyes, a heated blush staining his cheeks. "Exactly how many people have you asked for advice, Harry?"

Staring up at the ceiling, Harry tried to remember. "Five. But they don't know it's about you. Not really. Well, perhaps Ron and Kingsley do know, but they don't mind."

Opening his mouth, Remus seemed to want to say something, but after a moment, he closed it again. Harry gave him a sheepish grin.

"That explains all those odd attempts of yours," Remus finally said. "You were following advice."

"Yeah," Harry said, and fumbled with the corner of the sheet. "At first, I just wanted to find out why you hadn't wanted to shag Sirius, and then, as I thought about you, and I thought about you a lot, I realized I wanted you."

"Oh, Harry," Remus said, and Harry was worried Remus would get angry with him. He didn't dare look at Remus and waited for the outburst that would surely follow. Then a deep, rumbling sound filled the room, and Harry realized Remus was laughing. He was laughing so hard he fell back to the mattress and curled up, his arm wrapped around his stomach. 

Harry felt offended. "Well, it worked, didn't it?"

"Yes, yes, it did," Remus croaked in between snorts of laughter. 

Harry sniffed, and punched Remus on the shoulder. "Shut up." Which only made Remus laugh harder, until Harry couldn't hold back a chuckle himself.

It took Remus a long time to catch his breath, and all the while Harry leaned back against the headboard, staring up at the ceiling and tapping his foot against the bed. 

Rubbing his hands across his face, Remus managed to sit up again. He looked at Harry with a warm smile. "Yes," he said. 

"Yes what?" Harry gave him a brief glare. 

"Yes, you may fuck me."

"Oh." Harry's lips started to tremble, and he pursed them to stop his sudden nervousness from showing. "Right now?"

"If you want to." Remus' eyes looked so warm in the dim light, and Harry leaned closer to him. He didn't know what to say, feeling as if he'd lost his ability to speak, so instead he pressed his lips to Remus'. 

Remus opened his mouth and Harry pushed his tongue inside, eager and confident, and aroused by the idea of finally getting to fuck Remus, something he'd been fantasizing about for weeks now. 

Burying his hands in Remus' hair, Harry rolled on top of him, and they both slid down to the mattress, Harry wriggling his body between Remus' legs, hissing when he felt Remus' cock touch his own. 

"Harry, easy," Remus breathed against his lips. "We've got all night."

"Yeah," Harry said, though he didn't agree. He felt like he'd explode if he didn't manage to thrust his cock inside Remus within five minutes. "We need lube." 

"Hang on," Remus said, and leaned over to the nightstand, grabbing blindly inside the drawer. He retrieved a small tube and pressed it into Harry's hand. 

"Body lotion?" Harry shrugged as he uncapped it. "That should work."

Remus smiled and relaxed against the bed, while Harry felt his hands tremble as he coated his fingers with the slick substance. 

"You need to relax," he told Remus, reaching his hand down between Remus' legs. 

"I am relaxed," Remus said, pulling his legs up. 

"Right." Harry stared at Remus' face while he searched for Remus' entrance. When he found it, he tried to slide a finger inside, but his hands were trembling too much, and all he managed was to tease Remus' pucker. 

"I think you need to relax," Remus whispered with a teasing smile. 

"Shut up," Harry mumbled, his brow tugging up in a frown as he tried to concentrate on preparing Remus. "I'm about to have sex. And you want me to relax?"

"I thought you'd done this before," Remus said, and then he inhaled a sharp breath when Harry finally slid a finger inside. 

"Yeah, I have. A few times. But it's not like I'm an expert." 

"Harry, come here." Remus reached for Harry's head and pulled him down. "You're doing fine." He gave Harry a kiss, and Harry didn't think just one kiss was enough to put his nerves to rest. He captured Remus' mouth in a second kiss, deep and hurried this time, and thrust another finger inside Remus' tight channel.

"Feels nice," Remus whispered against Harry's lips. 

"Yeah," Harry agreed, moving his fingers in and out until he felt Remus' body accept the intrusion enough for him to move on. "I think you're ready now."

"Yes, I think so, too." Remus licked his lips, and Harry couldn't take his eyes off him. Remus had such beautiful lips, moist and glistening in the soft light. Squirting lotion on his cock, Harry settled between Remus' legs, and gently pressed his arse cheeks apart. 

"Ready?" Harry asked, more to himself than to Remus. 

"Yes."

"Okay." Harry pressed the head of his cock against Remus' slick pucker, watching Remus' face carefully for any signs of discomfort. But Remus looked at ease, giving him a half-smile, so Harry pushed further and breached Remus' entrance, his cock sliding inside a few inches.

"Oh," Harry moaned. "Oh God, you're so tight."

"More, Harry." 

Harry thrust his hips once, and buried his cock inside Remus' body to the base. He leaned down, his chest pressing to Remus, the deep scar hidden between them, and moved his hips back before thrusting inside Remus again. 

"Oh, that's so good," Harry moaned against Remus' throat. He felt Remus smile against his temple, and moved his hips again, and again, his cock throbbing inside Remus' channel. He felt his sac tighten and he gritted his teeth, not wanting it to be over yet. But his body failed him, and after only a few more thrusts Harry came with a muffled cry, his hands curling around Remus' shoulders while his cock spurted his release inside Remus. 

"Fuck," Harry sighed, not daring to look up at Remus, his cock giving a few last twitches inside Remus' arse. 

"That was..." Remus said, an amused note to his voice. 

"Brief?" Harry offered, glancing up at Remus from under his eyelashes. 

"An interesting start," Remus said, and cupped Harry's face with both hands so he could press a kiss to Harry's lips. 

"I can do better than that," Harry said against Remus' mouth. "Much better."

"I'm sure you can."

"You haven't even..." Harry worried his lip, feeling Remus' hard cock press against his abdomen. 

"There are other ways to take care of that." Remus smiled, and gave Harry another kiss. "We'll just have to give this a few more tries."

"You mean you want to do it again?" Harry raised his head and stared down at Remus, a hopeful flutter swirling through his stomach. 

"Yes."

Harry grinned, and looked at Remus' face for a minute. "I really think you're a handsome man."

"And I think you need new glasses," Remus said. Harry chuckled, and pulled his spent cock from Remus' body. He licked his lips and then sidled down Remus' chest. 

"What are you doing?" Remus asked, tilting his head off the pillow.

"Something I'm really good at," Harry said, his face hovering above Remus' hard cock. 

Remus let his head fall back to the pillow, his body relaxing as Harry trailed one hand over Remus' scar and used the other to guide Remus' cock to his mouth.

"I can't argue with that," Remus moaned, his eyes fluttering shut. 

 

~~fin~~

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: As part of a contest, Xntrick got to request a fic. Her request was: Harry/Remus. First-time. But it's not Harry's first time.


End file.
